Thursday, 6 June 2013

Noeramiah's 5 minutes of Camp Recount.

Success Criteria:
  • Open with an interesting language feature
  • Organise our writing into a paragraph
  • Describe how you felt, what we saw, what we heard, what we smelled and what we tasted  
  • Link our paragraphs with connective words and phrases  
  • Included at least one question mark, one exclamation mark and one example of parenthesis.

Writing about just 5 minutes at camp.

  • First : Inside collecting our glow sticks and connectors in our teams.
  • Middle : Teachers guiding us to where the finish and the start is.
  • End : Racing to the finish.

’It’s finally time to play!’’ as I thought to myself...... Some teachers and parents wondered around, handing everybody a glow stick and a connector. 30 seconds later a parent placed half a handful of connectors on the table for our team group to collect. I grabbed one glow stick from her hand then some people followed. Then I got a connector from the table. Suddenly I waved the glow stick in the air, once I bent it and twisted it to make it glow.

Suddenly we heard an announcement about everybody going outside. Mrs Hamilton gave us instructions about how to whole game was going to work. She told everybody to follow her to the end of the game.  
Everyone catched up...... to end by following Mrs Hamilton. She lead us to a place that said ‘’Dead End’’ as a sign. Finally once we arrived to the end we all went to where ‘’Archery’’ takes place.

Finally the game started to begin, but first Mrs Hamilton still had to give us another set of instructions. Suddenly ‘’3, 2, 1 GO’’ shouted Mrs Hamilton. ‘’ZOOM’’ everybody raced, we had to be really careful because there was parents and teachers hiding everywhere.

I was wondering to myself ‘’Where are the SNEAKY teachers and parents were hiding?’’ It was kind of quiet like a little tiny mouse creeping up to gather some food.

The best hiding places was to hide in the shadows because it was dark. Many people had to be quiet because otherwise the teachers would find us.

‘’FLASH’’ a bright light shined at me and some other people.  We had to hand the parent our glow stick but not our connector, but it wasn’t over yet we had to go back at the start to replay the game. I tried and tried, but once I tried many places I knew where most parents and teachers are hiding.

They were hiding in the bushes, trees, in the gaps between the dorms, tight places (where some of us hid).  Lots of us knew where the teachers were because of the bright torches they were using. It flashed in lots of places so we would know where they are.


  1. I can imagine the laughter and great fun everyone had.

  2. We liked that you used interesting punctuation; that you had really good information - like that you had to hand your glow stick in but not your connector; and that some of your words were in capitals to make them stand out. We really liked the story - it sounds like the game would be really fun. We would like to know more about what the archery place was; we are wondering what the game was and what were the instructions? We were also wondering a bit about how you felt - were you scared or happy? It sounds like it was probably exciting. We liked the bit where you said you would never give up.


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