Monday, 16 May 2011

A Wet Day at Stonefields by Damien P.

Damien has been working on using similes in his writing and did a great job of including some descriptive word choices.

We went outside to get some new ideas and then Damien had a go at writing about a wet day here at school.

Check it out!

"At outside of the school it was a yucky weather and everything is wet. A yucky weather is rainy day and it is a very cold day that it is just cold as a fridge. It is a windy day just like a tornado and it is very strong too but it is too strong that the umbrella will blow off and gone. All the rain made a puddle and then all the puddle went into the drain and all the drain water will go to the ocean. The entire raindrop is making dripping sounds and some sounds are loud and some is light. The rain clouds are blocking the blue sky and the white clouds. The wind is blowing the branches and it is just like a moving tree."

 By Damien P.


  1. I could really imagine the rain when reading your wonderful description.

  2. Fantastic use of similes and decriptive words Damien. You painted such a great picture with words.
    From Mrs Kennedy

  3. I can see how it helps when you actually go into the scene yourself and gives you a great idea of what the setting looks like.

  4. I can see how this helps you by going outside to see what it looks like and I think that you are doing really well in your writing.

  5. Hi Damien,
    I really like your descriptive words! I could easily see a picture in my head. I wonder, did going outside and experiencing the cold weather help inspire you to write such cool adjectives about the rainy day?

  6. Nice Damien!You used really descriptive words. Next time you can find out how rain is made!


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