Thursday, 19 May 2011

"Show, don't tell" by Paton

We wrote a scene setting focusing on 'show, don't tell'. I used the base words "Hot, dry, dusty."

We used adjectives, similes, personification, metaphors and hyperbole. We did this so when it came to writing our Mt Wellington story we knew what we were doing and then we could just get started right away.

I did not know those forms of figurative language and now I do thanks to my wonderful teachers and my determination!

"As I walked through the hot dessert the sun was beaming down on my back. The sand was dry and cracked and as a drop of my sweat landed on the sand it disappeared really quickly. I felt so dehydrated my throat felt like a piece of sand paper. Suddenly, sand started swirling around me. I fell to the ground, blinded by the sand. Tired and dehydrated, I lay down. As I looked up all I saw was the sun smiling at me. My eyes were heavy and as I closed my eyes all I saw was shimmering water."

By Paton

1 comment:

  1. A beautiful piece of writing, Paton. I love "I fell to the ground, blinded by the sand" - by combining these ideas into one sentence you've made a simple but powerful sentence.


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