The black out. Goal Intention is to give the reader a picture in there mind of whats going. LF Using less direct speech and adding more descriptive detail instead.

I have to get out of here. I stumble over my wounded comrades shouting for help.I push myself with all I've got . Bullets come from all directions. blood was dripping from my knees, people with shields come through the tear gas. my best friend is lying on the ground in agony, I run to him. I drag him to shelter.Quickly this way I use the momentum to push both of us down the hill suddenly BANG!!