Daily Journal Writing by Paton

We are learning how to include hyperbole and metaphor's in our writing.

My story is more like a thriller but it is a cool story I would like to get your opinions on whether I should carry on with it or leave it as a cliff hanger so here it is.

When I was little I used to play in my garden and I always felt a big lump the size of an elephant. I never knew what was until it I asked my parents so many times that I think that they got mad because I asked so often but there was never an answer. So one day I went out into my garden and started digging. As I got closer to whatever it was, it seemed to get colder and at one point it was so cold like the Antarctic ocean. Then all of a sudden there was a big bang. I had hit something. Something hard and wooden. The wood seemed to be fossilized. I opened it and inside was white cloth. It was like snow. I removed it and to my astonishment there lay a person missing half their skin. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I thought to myself shall I run away or shall I carry on? Then I saw something twinkling at me like a star.

By Paton

Daily Journal Writing by Jamie

For journal writing on Tuesday we wrote about a mystery trunk that we find under our house. We had to include a Metaphor and a Hyperbole. Here's mine...

One day when I was lying on my creaking, groaning bed I felt a sudden urge to go down to the basement and explore. I was a shadow as I tiptoed past my parent's room. I could hear their breathing. I was so quiet. When I got outside I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. The chilly, winter breeze froze me to the very bone. When I opened the basement door the moonlight reflected off a rusty piece of metal. Excited I ran towards it. It was a clasp. I snapped it open, realizing it belonged to a old, worn, down, leather trunk. It took an eternity to open the elephant sized lid. As I peaked inside I fell to the ground laughing. After all that, I was now the owner of... A pair of moth eaten socks.

An Image in Time - Jamie, Craig, Fatima, Maddy & Ben

WALHT (We Are Learning How To): Write a interesting paragraph from a picture, using metaphor and personification.

This morning for journal writing we were doing a moment in time image.  It needed to include a metaphor and personification.  We chose between two images.  One was a globe with hands, the other was a rock climbing wall.  We hope you enjoy them.

When I look at the globe I think of each hand as a country and the globe as the environment.  Each time a hand comes away, a country stops caring, making it harder for the remaining hands to take care of it.  It will end up being a concrete wasteland.  If this happens the stars will never wink again.

By Jamie

It's Craig here - I've underlined the figurative language I used, can you work out which ones I've used where?

It all started when the universe ran over to our part of the solar system and popped a balloon causing a big bang.  That was the point when our part of the solar system was invented.  Then civilization started, they began to hold the world. Later on war was invented, civilizations crumbled making it harder to hold the world.  The Earth was beginning to feel like an anchor to the people who are still holding.  Later on in time our technology has begun to pollute the land and our environment.  More hands drop.  If one more pair of hands drop, our world will be a wasteland.   

By Craig

Standing alone holding the globe all by myself.  The globe felt like I was carrying a marble but the longer I held it, the quicker I realised I was holding a dinosaur sized globe.  I felt like giving up but the globe smiled as someone else helped me hold it.  I felt like a thousand weights lifted off my shoulders.

I felt like I did quite well because a couple years ago, I wasn't sure about metaphors and personifications.  Now I can write metaphors, personifications, and similes at ease.  Journal writing has helped me lot.  Journal writing is really affective because the teachers give you a topic to write about and you have to use figurative language.  I am looking forward to more journal writing so I can improve on my weaknesses.

By Fatima

As I steer at the rock wall it laughs at me. As I start to climb the wall I turn into nimble monkey creeping to the top.

By Maddy

As I am the great billy goat I am preparing to conquer this great big mountain and guess what, it laughed at me.  I think it will be a big challenge for me!

By Ben

Wet Park Scene by Damien H

I learned to set a scene based on the words "cold, wet, park bench." I learned what personification is and what a metaphor is.  A metaphor shows two things that are not the same but are similar in one important way and says it is something else.  eg. Ben is a monkey.  Personification is giving something that is not living a human trait.  eg. The stars winked at me.

Can you spot these in my setting paragraph?

"I shivered as the water torpedoes bombed the park making slippery wet puddles.  As I looked up at the black sky with white winking dot, I noticed the creak of the old swings that were desperate for oil.  The trees rustled as they were pummeled by explosive, clear droplets.  Their branches reached for the sky as they shivered in the wind."

By Damien H.

"Show, don't tell" by Paton

We wrote a scene setting focusing on 'show, don't tell'. I used the base words "Hot, dry, dusty."

We used adjectives, similes, personification, metaphors and hyperbole. We did this so when it came to writing our Mt Wellington story we knew what we were doing and then we could just get started right away.

I did not know those forms of figurative language and now I do thanks to my wonderful teachers and my determination!

"As I walked through the hot dessert the sun was beaming down on my back. The sand was dry and cracked and as a drop of my sweat landed on the sand it disappeared really quickly. I felt so dehydrated my throat felt like a piece of sand paper. Suddenly, sand started swirling around me. I fell to the ground, blinded by the sand. Tired and dehydrated, I lay down. As I looked up all I saw was the sun smiling at me. My eyes were heavy and as I closed my eyes all I saw was shimmering water."

By Paton