Daily Journal Writing by Paton

We are learning how to include hyperbole and metaphor's in our writing.

My story is more like a thriller but it is a cool story I would like to get your opinions on whether I should carry on with it or leave it as a cliff hanger so here it is.

When I was little I used to play in my garden and I always felt a big lump the size of an elephant. I never knew what was until it I asked my parents so many times that I think that they got mad because I asked so often but there was never an answer. So one day I went out into my garden and started digging. As I got closer to whatever it was, it seemed to get colder and at one point it was so cold like the Antarctic ocean. Then all of a sudden there was a big bang. I had hit something. Something hard and wooden. The wood seemed to be fossilized. I opened it and inside was white cloth. It was like snow. I removed it and to my astonishment there lay a person missing half their skin. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I thought to myself shall I run away or shall I carry on? Then I saw something twinkling at me like a star.

By Paton

Daily Journal Writing by Jamie

For journal writing on Tuesday we wrote about a mystery trunk that we find under our house. We had to include a Metaphor and a Hyperbole. Here's mine...

One day when I was lying on my creaking, groaning bed I felt a sudden urge to go down to the basement and explore. I was a shadow as I tiptoed past my parent's room. I could hear their breathing. I was so quiet. When I got outside I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding. The chilly, winter breeze froze me to the very bone. When I opened the basement door the moonlight reflected off a rusty piece of metal. Excited I ran towards it. It was a clasp. I snapped it open, realizing it belonged to a old, worn, down, leather trunk. It took an eternity to open the elephant sized lid. As I peaked inside I fell to the ground laughing. After all that, I was now the owner of... A pair of moth eaten socks.

"Show, don't tell" by Paton

We wrote a scene setting focusing on 'show, don't tell'. I used the base words "Hot, dry, dusty."

We used adjectives, similes, personification, metaphors and hyperbole. We did this so when it came to writing our Mt Wellington story we knew what we were doing and then we could just get started right away.

I did not know those forms of figurative language and now I do thanks to my wonderful teachers and my determination!

"As I walked through the hot dessert the sun was beaming down on my back. The sand was dry and cracked and as a drop of my sweat landed on the sand it disappeared really quickly. I felt so dehydrated my throat felt like a piece of sand paper. Suddenly, sand started swirling around me. I fell to the ground, blinded by the sand. Tired and dehydrated, I lay down. As I looked up all I saw was the sun smiling at me. My eyes were heavy and as I closed my eyes all I saw was shimmering water."

By Paton